Monday, January 25, 2010

Manny Harris Suspension Rumor Mill

Michigan basketball star guard Manny Harris was reinstated today by Coach John Beilein after serving a one-game suspension for an unnamed offense that occurred during practice on Friday. While Harris has officially rejoined his teammates for their showdown with Michigan State at Crisler tomorrow evening - sparing Wolverine fans from what would have been utter humiliation - there has been no official word on what Manny L'Adorable Harris did to deserve sitting out the team's brutal loss to Purdue. WCBN Sports offers their best guesses:

  • Harris, enraged when Michael Rosenberg interrogated him about the length of Coach Beilein's practices, punched the hack Free Press "journalist" squarely in the face. Beilein, while impressed by Harris' defense of his honor, was forced to suspend Harris, much to the pleasure of Rosenberg, whose vendetta against all things West Virginia continues to destroy everything beautiful about Michigan.


  • Freshman walk-on and Club Trillion member Josh Bartelstein showed up to practice Friday and Manny Harris promptly delivered a roundhouse kick to his face, apparently, for existing. Coach Beilein was overhead laughing, and was seen high-fiving Harris, but out of the fear that Bartelstein's father would pull the $500,000 contribution he made to the program to secure Josh's spot, he decided to suspend Harris for one game.
What a clown.
Beilein applauds Manny doing what everyone else wanted to do.

Got other theories? Post them in the comments. WCBN Sports will continue to follow this breaking story and bring you updated rumors as they develop.

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