Top 10 Reasons Why I Hate Minnesota

Yes, 72 hours and counting 'til the 'Play-Out' Game at the Barn. Below is the aforementioned Top 10 List:

#10 Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome: The home to the Minnesota Vikings, Twins and Golden Gophers football is better known as the Humpty Dome. A Green Bay writer put it best, "The Metrodome is a dump. Is there any other way to sugarcoat it? From the messed up parking outside, to the manufactured noise and the overcrowded concourses inside, this is a lousy place to play a football game. The sooner the stadium gets bulldozed, the better."

#9 Common Loon: The Minnesota state bird, also known as the Great Northern Diver Bird. The Loon is known for being typically clumsy, as its legs are positioned behind its rear. There's a shocker. The Latin species name for the Loon translates as 'sea smew', grey or blackened ashes of a fire. Bizarre choice, Minnesota.

#8 Hazeltine National Golf Club: The Robert Trent Jones designed course is prestigious and has played host to multiple major championships over the years. Yet, in their last 3 major championships (1983, 1991 and 2002), the respective winners have been Billy Casper, Payne Stewart and Rich Beem.  Not exactly Nicklaus, Palmer, or Tiger.  Also, Hazeltine has a no cell phone policy, really?

#7 Love of Hockey: Yes, I know Michigan has an infatuation with the niche sport as well, but Minnesotans take their passion to a whole different level. The state of 10,000 Lakes (91 lakes are named Long Lake, where's the orginality?), saw its first professional hockey team, the North Stars, leave for Dallas in 1994. Join Canada, already, won't you?

#6 Jesse Ventura: Aah, how could I forget, Minnesota elected the former wrestler as Governor of their state from 1999 to 2002. Not that Michigan has much to brag about in this department, but at least the political leaders of Wolverine state have not called for prostitution to become legal, like Ventura did. Politics in Minnesota tends to have an independent streak: pick a party and make up your mind already, Minnesotan's (Is that the right term, Minnesotan? I guess.)

#5 Collapsing Bridges: At 6:05 local time on August 1, 2007, the I-35W Mississippi River Bridge tragically collapsed, killing 13 and injuring close to 150 people. Design flaw was the supposed reason for the catastrophe.  Nothing more needed here, you get the idea.

#4 Tim Brewster: University of Minnesota head football coach.  Brewster is a very shady character, who picks up a ton of JUCO transfers.  His wikipedia page begins with the following statement: "He is well-known as a fierce recruiter." Well, that's one way to put it. I'd put $100 down on a NCAA recruiting violation by 2010.

#3 Williams Arena: The home to Minnesota basketball is old (opened in 1928) and has an elevated floor. Better known as "The Barn", the floor is raised two feet above the ground surface.  I wouldn't want a seat in the first row, I'd be severely obstructed. Let's just hope no one from Michigan gets hurt diving after a loose ball out of bounds. I guess the lone positive is the preparation the elevated floor will provide Michigan when they see a similar surface at Ford Field for the Final Four.

#2 The Barnyard: The name of the Minnesota basketball student section.  Real creative Gopher fans. I can deal with the Paint Crew at Purdue, the Iz-Zone at Michigan State, but the Barnyard. Why not Tubby's team? All I'll say is tickets are still available for the Michigan-Minnesota game on Saturday and it better be sold out.

#1 Weather: If you think it's cold in Michigan, know you could always have it worse, much worse.  A blogger on Portana's Times wrote the following: "A word to the wise who think they want to move to Minnesota. If you don't like the cold, or severe weather, stay the #$%& away. I used to think Montana weather was bad-ha! Its the freaking tropics compared to this #$%^ that has been happening since November. I will never complain about the weather again in Montana or anywhere else I have lived after living in this hell hole of a weather cycle."

BEAT THE GOPHERS, PLEASE!!!